Proscenium

I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot

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Welcome (Back?) Here I am again, embarking on another year of posting a photo a day, aka the 365 challenge.  I have completed two 365’s (2011 and 12) back to back.  After the second year I decided not to continue as it is a time consuming hobby and sometimes very difficult to manage throughout the year.  In fact, it has been 5 years since I posted my last photo.  And, yes, I have actually missed going out and posting an image every day, adding some perspective, antecdote, narrative, or description and meaning.  (BTW – I would love to hear your critiques, opinions or suggestions of my pictures. It is very important for me to hear what others think I could do to improve my photography). If you decide to follow the blog it would mean the world to me. I built a pretty awesome network of fellow bloggers, friends and family, before I stopped and I missed that connection. But don’t feel obligated. I am not everyone’s cup of tea. (Most of the posts are oozing with sarcasm with the intended purpose of being humorous, which often fails 😳)

Some background info, which will probably help understand many posts. I grew up as an army brat. Through the first 24 years of life, I moved 30+ times. Change was a way of life and even today I still, subconsciously, seek change. I have been teaching high school theatre for 20+ years. I have worked in the same school my entire career. I also hold a Masters in Counseling and I am currently looking into transitioning from a teacher to a counselor (probably because of that itch for change.) It is a difficult decision but, in light of all the violence in high schools, it is my firm belief that school counselors do what they are suppose to do. The more we get to know/work with students instead of serving just as an advisor, the number of (preventable) tragedies would dramatically decrease. We don’t need teachers with guns, we need to allow professionals to be accessible to students, full time. To get to know them in order to recognize changes in behavior and be proactive rather than ultimately ending up being reactive.  Students need adults who advocate for them, who they feel safe with and trust. We don’t need action, we need prevention. And I firmly believe that adding more Counselors, across the board, lowering the size of their caseloads, would be a lot more effective and money saving than armed staff, metal detectors, full time surveillance people and equipment, police officers, to name a few. Sorry, I’m down off my platform now.

But there’s more! Not only do I teach, I still personally perform/direct/design professionally (away from school) as much as I can. I write scripts, stay current with different techniques and attend workshops and conferences to continue to grow as an actor/educator. I barely have time, on most days, to breathe. Yet, when I did my first 365, I found it to be therapeutic and reenergizing. And now I find myself needing that “therapy”.

I have 3 awesome kids (well not kids anymore.) Yes they all had/have their angsty rebellious moments, and I still love them. I know, or hope, they feel the same way and pray that I didn’t screw them up that bad.  My youngest graduated this year.  And now the empty nest syndrome is at my door. So I hope returning to the blog will help distract me from the loneliness and quiet that will be ever present. The once active and entertaining home will now be filled only with memories.

I was diagnosed with testicular cancer in September of 2009.  It was a shock and I chose immediately to not allow it dictate my life. It was an unwelcomed guest and with a lot of strength, it was kicked out and that door was locked.  I actually detailed my journey on a different blog in hopes that it may help others, fighting this coward of a disease, find the way to kick it out on its ass. If it helps inspire, guide or support just one person through their personal battle, then it will have been worth the documentation.  Giving up is not, and should never be, an option. You can actually read the journal (click link at end of paragraph).  Be aware, it starts with the last post and works backwards. It is raw, emotional and very descriptive. I documented the way I saw it and felt it and did not edit for content (even the parts where I wrote on painkillers).  I Just wish I knew how to change the format. Stage struck 

Other than that, my remaining children, Gracie (the Golden) and Anastasia (Husky), will have to fill the the void of the once busy house.  I really look forward, as I did in the past, to visit as many blogs as I can. This year I created “3 of Many” Which are  links to 3 blogs/posts, every day, at the end of my post. Sometimes you never know when a couple of kind words can dramatically change someone’s day. If you do receive an unwanted pingback, do not hesitate to let me know. And, for fun, I create a link word/phrase that is based on your post. I have no intention of undermining your own post title. I love creating titles that are a play on words which are based on your post or photos. If this bothers you just let me know.  I will be more than happy to change/delete it.  In addition when I have the extra time, I tend to comment on posts, and share brief exchanges with other bloggers. Please don’t feel obligated to do the same.

I look forward to visiting your blog. Thank you for sharing your valuable time to visit Proscenium. Happy blogging and keep your heart warm

– Jase

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10 Replies to “I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot”

  1. Your children will come back, they always do, home to their safe place where they are loved, missed and wanted.

    I enjoyed reading all about you, what an interesting read. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jase,

    “I also hold a Masters in Counseling and I am currently looking into transitioning from a teacher to a counselor (probably because of that itch for change.) It is a difficult decision but, in light of all the violence in high schools, it is my firm belief that school counselors do what they are suppose to do. The more we get to know/work with students instead of serving as just an advisor, the number of (preventable) tragedies would dramatically decrease. We don’t need teachers with guns, we need to allow professionals to be available for students, full time.”

    I hope you do make the transition because it’s definitely important for students to have a safe time place to talk about their feelings. Many teens don’t have an adult they can talk to! I’m very fortunate that my children felt comfortable sharing with me. They’re out of the house how and we are close. I am blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m still trying to make that change. Seems to be a tight year in openings. Maybe next. I hope my kids are the same. This fall will be the first to have all 3 gone. I hope they come back 😳

      Like

  3. Nice to read more about you. I, too, was a high school teacher, qualified for guidance and special education (ended up in the latter). Dabbled in theatre on the side. Knocked down by illness in 2014, but keeping my mind and imagination flowing within the blogging community. Hope you are well, and appreciate your participation in my challenges.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohh don’t read that. It’s just for show 😛 But seriously, thank you hosting a fun challenge and for comments. Blogging really kept me sane through my illness and then found my way back into it after. It’s interesting how much I enjoy it more than anything social media wise. In fact I ditched Facebook and have been so less stressed since. Besides those likes never did anything for me. You actually have to earn them here 😳. Look forward to more challenges!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! That means so much! I will be honest, there have been some days where I just wanted to stop, but I knew if I did I would definitely miss something. And while I do it primarily for myself, it means so much to know someone actually looks forward to reading more! And the sentiments are most assuredly returned!

      Like

  4. I hope you’ve had more time to breathe and that the weight of all those hats isn’t overbearing. My blogs are a mess so don’t feel obliged to visit just cos I’m dropping my comment. I’ve just distracted from intended task so i’ll return another day for a look at some pics and read a little. I have a terrible memory for all those things i want to do so i hit the follow and maybe catch sight of your posts in the wordpress reader then. ENS is no fun either definitely but hopefully you’ll enjoy the freedom and frequent times enough with your loved ones. Best wishes to you for your blogging.

    Liked by 2 people

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