I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot

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HELLO! Back in Jan 2018, after a 3 year hiatus, I started a 3rd 365.  I completed my first two 365’s in 2011 and 2012.  After the second year, I decided not to continue as it is a time consuming hobby and sometimes very difficult to manage throughout the year.  In November of ’19, just a month away from completing year 4, I closed the computer and decided I needed to step away for a short break.  That break ended up lasting a year.  I cannot fully explain why, although I am trying to through my blog posts, but I have decided to come back and revisit blogging.  Even though it isn’t an everyday thing, I do hope to keep being as interesting as I once was.   I love going out and composing an image to feature, every day, adding some perspective, antecdote, narrative, or description and meaning.  I am by no means a professional photographer. I just enjoy the time I spend in meditative solitude, even if it is only 10 minutes.  I am not everyone’s cup of tea. Most of the posts are oozing with sarcasm with the intended purpose of being humorous, and provide some much needed levity, which usually misses the mark 😳 I am planning on continuing with the levity, sharing life observations.  I am not political nor do I play into controversies.  I have enough stress in my life, I have no desire to “debate” on social media.  

Some background info & insights on me that won’t help, (I mean) will help to provide explanations of many of the posts. I grew up an army brat. Through the first 24 years of life, I moved 30+ times. Change was a way of life and even today I still, subconsciously, seek change. I taught high school theatre for 20+ years working in the same school my entire career. I also hold a Masters in Counseling  Due to unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances, in 2018, I accepted a Digital Design Instructor position at our Career and Tech Center for the school system. I started my 3rd year at CTC, and my 24th year of teaching (I started when I was 14) this fall.  It is an on-going process to make such a radical change that has taken me way out of my comfort zone.  Eventually, in my second life, I would love to find a counseling position or take a couple of classes for licensure and become a school psychologist.  In light of all the violence in high schools, it is my firm belief that school counselors need to do what they are suppose to do, guide and counsel our students. The more we get to know/work with students instead of serving just as an advisor, the number of (preventable) tragedies would dramatically decrease. We don’t need teachers with guns, we need to allow professionals to be accessible to students, full time. To get to know them in order to recognize changes in behavior and be proactive rather than ultimately ending up being reactive.  Students need adults who advocate for them, who they feel safe with and trust. We don’t need action, we need prevention. And I firmly believe that adding more Counselors, across the board, lowering the size of caseloads, would be a lot more effective and money saving than armed staff, metal detectors, full time surveillance people and equipment, police officers, to name a few. Sorry, I’m down off my platform now.

But wait, there’s more! Not only do I teach, I am a professional actor/director/designer (although I have been on hiatus this past year)  I write scripts, attend and teach workshops, private classes and conferences to continue to grow as an actor/educator and help others do the same.  I have 3 amazing kids (well not kids anymore.) who have all officially flown the coup. And not just down the road either.  Completely different time zones.  It hasn’t always been easy.  There have been some real trying times, times that tested the fabric or the family, and I still love them. I know, or hope, they feel the same way and pray that I didn’t screw them up that bad.  Continuining to blog is a healthy distraction from the loneliness and quiet that is constantly amplified. The only thing that drowns out the chemo related tinnitus. The once active and entertaining home is now filled only with memories.

I was diagnosed with testicular cancer in September of 2009.  It was a shock and I chose immediately to not allow it dictate my life. It was an unwelcomed guest and with a lot of strength, it was kicked out and that door was locked.  I actually detailed my journey on a different blog in hopes that it may help others, fighting this coward of a disease, find the way to kick it out on its ass. If it helps inspire, guide or support just one person through their personal battle, then it will have been worth the documentation.  Giving up is not, and should never be, an option. You can actually read the journal (click link at end of paragraph).  Be aware, it starts with the last post and works backwards (I am still trying to figure that one out).  Make sure you jump to the first post or you will think I just came out of remission!  It is raw, emotional and very descriptive. I documented exactly the way I saw it and felt it and did not edit for content (even the parts where I wrote on painkillers).  I Just wish I knew how to change the format. Stage struck 

Other than that, my remaining children (Gracie the Golden passed in Jan 2019) Anastasia (a Husky) and now Gryffin (Golden Shepherd) who is featured quite a bit, will have to fill the the void of the once bustling house.  I really look forward, as I did in the past, to visiting as many blogs as I can. Last year I began a “3 of Many” now called “Look Who I Found” that links to a blogs/posts that stands out in some way, I discover every day. Sometimes you never know when a couple of kind words can dramatically change someone’s day. If you do receive an unwanted pingback, do not hesitate to let me know. And, for fun, I create a link word/phrase that is based on your post. I have no intention of undermining your own post title. I love creating titles that are a play on words which are based on your post or photos (in fact everyone of my titles for 2019 is a song title). If this bothers you just let me know.  I will be more than happy to change/delete it.  In addition when I have the extra time, I tend to comment on posts, and share brief exchanges with other bloggers. Please don’t feel obligated to do the same.

I look forward to visiting your blog. Thank you for sharing your valuable time to visit Proscenium. Happy blogging and keep your heart warm. 

– Jase

Updated 12/12/20

Camera Shot


27 Replies to “I Am Not Throwing Away My Shot”

  1. I like the idea of taking one photo a day. Both to make taking photos a part of the daily routine, and also to only take one photo, if you choose to see the challenge as to literally only taking one photo, you’ll have to really challenge yourself and think a lot about that photo. I usually exercise my camera every day, some days fewer photos, and some days many many photos. For me it would be a challenge to only take one. Maybe I should try? Maybe it would make for a higher quality photo? Great blog you got here! Looking forward to more posts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! I haven’t heard from you in quite some time! I hope all is well! Whenever I take my 7D out the goal is to do just that compose 1 shot and shot 1 shot only. However, I also normally have a Rebel or use my iPhone to take other shots in case I don’t get what I want or if I happen to see something else worthwhile. It is a great escape for me. Therapeutic, even with the pressure. My first goal is always to post a shot I took that day though. I will be completing my 4th this year (2 back to back 365’s with a 4 year break in between) and I am thinking I need to take a break next year. Recently it has been getting hard to get motivated so I think I need to recharge my batteries.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Life have been kind of crazy this year. You know like trying to stay above the surface crazy. I am getting back in the game 😉 Sounds like a great setup. I have seen the 365 challenge before, but never been tempted. I am tempted to give it a try 2020. Good seeing you again 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You have many interests! What teachers “need” is hard to decide, since I’m not in the school system. I grew up without guns and where the police only had a bat (probably not the right word:)), but carried no gun when on duty, but now I live in an area of vets, and everyone has a few. Have heard their war stories, and discovered there are very few without some degree of PTSD. Of course, then there are plenty around here, who learned to shoot a gun for hunting purposes. It becomes a very complex problem when the government tells one how to live, and what is good or evil… but. I actually came her to reply about the deer in the neighborhods, then bumped into your Friday Follies, but I couldn’t find out if you still do that challenge, and what the guidelines exactly are ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes I definitely do the challenge. In fact, if you go to my main page I have the latest episode pinned to the top. Near the bottom there is a link to the “guidelines” page. Would love for you to join. I think having the number of interests I do finally caught up to me. Had some hard revelations hit home and I have reexamined day to day events. Needless to say, many of those interests have been cut out. Not sure if its good or bad, time will tell I guess. I am not a big fan of guns period. Ever since I was shot with a BB gun back when I was 10, they make me extremely nervous. Even fake guns. Talk about PTSD!


    1. Thank you! and thank you for taking the time to drop a line. I really appreciate it. I look forward to hearing more from and about you! Glad you started your journey! It is such a rewarding experience and such a warm and inviting community. 😬


    1. Thank you! I just don’t know how anything will get done with he current administration in place. Its obvious education and our kids well being doesn’t matter to those who have the power to change it… Sorry, strikes a little nerve 😬


    1. That hasn’t been super easy. I’m not much for quiet 😳 thank you so much for stopping by and taking time to reach out. That means so much and thank you for your kind words. It’s nice to hear from the same side. 😊


  3. Your children will come back, they always do, home to their safe place where they are loved, missed and wanted.

    I enjoyed reading all about you, what an interesting read. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And thank you for reading my story. Doesn’t feel like they will. They just seem so eager to leave and I don’t remember having that need until I was in my mid 20s. I hope you’re right!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Jase,

    “I also hold a Masters in Counseling and I am currently looking into transitioning from a teacher to a counselor (probably because of that itch for change.) It is a difficult decision but, in light of all the violence in high schools, it is my firm belief that school counselors do what they are suppose to do. The more we get to know/work with students instead of serving as just an advisor, the number of (preventable) tragedies would dramatically decrease. We don’t need teachers with guns, we need to allow professionals to be available for students, full time.”

    I hope you do make the transition because it’s definitely important for students to have a safe time place to talk about their feelings. Many teens don’t have an adult they can talk to! I’m very fortunate that my children felt comfortable sharing with me. They’re out of the house how and we are close. I am blessed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I’m still trying to make that change. Seems to be a tight year in openings. Maybe next. I hope my kids are the same. This fall will be the first to have all 3 gone. I hope they come back 😳


  5. Nice to read more about you. I, too, was a high school teacher, qualified for guidance and special education (ended up in the latter). Dabbled in theatre on the side. Knocked down by illness in 2014, but keeping my mind and imagination flowing within the blogging community. Hope you are well, and appreciate your participation in my challenges.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ohh don’t read that. It’s just for show 😛 But seriously, thank you hosting a fun challenge and for comments. Blogging really kept me sane through my illness and then found my way back into it after. It’s interesting how much I enjoy it more than anything social media wise. In fact I ditched Facebook and have been so less stressed since. Besides those likes never did anything for me. You actually have to earn them here 😳. Look forward to more challenges!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I actually read your “about page” earlier this morning. I am touched by your story. Keep taking those pictures, and share your words. I’m looking forward to read more posts. Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! That means so much! I will be honest, there have been some days where I just wanted to stop, but I knew if I did I would definitely miss something. And while I do it primarily for myself, it means so much to know someone actually looks forward to reading more! And the sentiments are most assuredly returned!


  7. I hope you’ve had more time to breathe and that the weight of all those hats isn’t overbearing. My blogs are a mess so don’t feel obliged to visit just cos I’m dropping my comment. I’ve just distracted from intended task so i’ll return another day for a look at some pics and read a little. I have a terrible memory for all those things i want to do so i hit the follow and maybe catch sight of your posts in the wordpress reader then. ENS is no fun either definitely but hopefully you’ll enjoy the freedom and frequent times enough with your loved ones. Best wishes to you for your blogging.

    Liked by 2 people

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