Happy On The Outside


Day 93 – April 3, 2019

Memory – Weekly Word Prompt / Understanding – Weekly Quotation Inspired / Contacts – FOWC / Articulate – RDP / Penitent – WODC 

Got involved in a little discussion with a couple students today about the importance of Facebook and whether someone should “friend” someone who they just met, or met through a mutual friend, but have no intention of seeing again. Is it just a number.  How many of those friends do you actually interact with and have any real personal discussions. I shared with them how I have now been social media free for a year, and how refreshing it was.  Of course, they were intrigued about how I stay up to date on things, whether I missed it, if I was penitent, etc.  It was hard at first, but it wasn’t long until it completely left my mind.  I told them that it is pretty sobering, because when you no longer have access to those “contacts” you find out how many really true “friends” you have, because that’s how many text you to find outfit everything is alright,  how you are doing and vice versa.  I shared that when I left Facebook, because I have been teaching a very long time, my number of friends, followers, etc was pretty high. Granted I didn’t talk to them all every day, I did keep up with many, I knew them and they were more than just “acquaintances”.   So they were startled to learn that out of that many friends, in the past year, perhaps 10, maybe 15 have reached out to me, unsolicited.  Now I didn’t, and don’t, expect many to have, but there were some that I was surprised not to hear from, or worse, have respond to something sent to them.  The kids were really surprised and started to really think more about it. They articulated a couple of things that may play into that.  The one they spent the most time was the observation that it was too inconvenient for so many.  When you don’t have the option of clicking on a heart or thumbs up and you are forced to text more than 3 words, that is saved for only the closest of friends. One of the kids asked the question how many of us receive a text from someone, and don’t respond right away when all you had to do was type yes or no or something as easy as “k”.  And why? Inconvenience.  Mind games?  It wasn’t necessarily always like that for everyone, but when asked to really think about it, all of the kids involved in the conversation were guilty of doing it at least once a week.  It was a pretty cool self – reflection.  Of course, I did challenge them to go 2 weeks without and see what happens.  Find out how many of their friends reach out to see what happened or if everything is ok, or just saying hi.  If they really want a more accurate count, do it over the summer when they aren’t seeing friends every day at school.  I don’t think any of them actually will. I think they may be a little nervous about what might be revealed.

I am not sure why I shared that.  I think it’s just something I wanted to have on record.  Because it has absolutely nothing to do with my shot.  This is a porch from a house right off of the center of town where everyone passes by.  I am not sure what most people think.  I would guess most would see it as an eye sore. But, I see a porch full of memories, a place of peace and meditation. Of course, I am the one who doesn’t have friends so any place I can go that is full of memories is a good place.

Look What I Found

Poison Control

17 Replies to “Happy On The Outside”

  1. You had that argument with them because youngsters nowadays are focused on social media. Their world revolves around social media. Fb is really toxic if you think about it but I do update mine regularly and check what my relatives and friends are doing lol. You’re a good teacher.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. It is toxic. Thinking back my mood would easily swing based on things I would read. “hearing” messages the way I wanted to hear them and not the way they were meant to be heard was the worst part of it all. 80% of arguments would never have happened if we had spoke in person.


  2. you say no social media – but blogging likely falls under that category – does it not?
    but it sure is wayyyyyyy different from the big Mac daddy Facebook.
    and I love how you roused up the thinking in your students.
    You seem to have a gift for caring still – so many teachers pull out mentally or draw so many boundaries to where they do not offer up these personal parts – and we need more of them – this is what students need for health – so kudos to you.

    the only other thing I am not sure about is whether or not the lack of contacting you is really because they do not care or they were “not really a friend.”
    I think they really enjoyed you and your being a part of that social media – but when you left that platform – it is too much effort for them to get off it and to get on the sidelines and touch base.
    I have someone in my family who gripes now and again about how they wish I was on facebook – and they recently said “I try to text you back and even know where your blog is -but I am a facebooker and wish you were there.”
    I see it with a few other die hard FBers – like a handful of folks I know have been on it since 07 and they are the ones that really seem to not want to check in with alternative platforms- if that makes
    and I do not think it is lazy – I think it is a time factor – people are busy and even on facebook they are not reading everyone’s posts – but what they do get is a lot and enough and so for many – leaving the “network” is difficult – and that is likely why many contacts have not followed up with you – it happens when you leave a big grid.

    I tried facebook three times and it is NOT for me – omg

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have thought about that. In this case, personally, it is not. I am 95% sure that I know only 2 or 3 of my followers. No one in my family does, and none of my students or colleagues do. I don’t think I use WP for any other reason except to get away from everything. I don’t come on WP to exclusively scroll through pictures or “walls”. It is not stressful and except for the very rare misunderstanding, it peaceful and I do not feel like I am being judged everyday. I mean I guess I am in a way, but I don’t see it the same at all. I set aside my WP time everyday and that is pretty much the only time I get on, unless I happen to catch a glimpse of something that intrigues me or I am bored.

      I agree totally with you on your insights. I know deep down they haven’t but it was still pretty revealing. There is a second part that I am not sharing that would raise the stakes a bit which is why I was a little more put off by it, but I do not and will not hold it against any of them. In fact, if I felt like anyone was reading this, I probably wouldn’t be writing it, because I would be mortified if they knew I felt like that.
      I always have had a more relaxed atmosphere in my classes. Being a performing arts teacher kind of lends itself to that so it is easy to stir up some good conversations. I don’t know. I guess I just teach the way I would have wanted to be taught.
      But FB is an addiction. Tried and true. It’s why I think the number of people who could actually go that long is very minimal.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh you have some seasoned experience my friend – thanks for the reply.
        It has been actually affirming to me because as noted – I can’t do the Facebook thing and I have been judged – which I can blow off- and I know it is just not my cup of tea – and we make it work just fine – my spouse is on for his small business but also connects with some of his colleagues and so he sends me some pics of my stepdaughter’s baby and an occasional photo –
        Thanks again for the nice reply

        Liked by 1 person

        1. That may have been the only real set back to dropping FB. It is such a wonderful tool for promoting things. I would promote shows I was involved with and its where I would find out about auditions, and others shows. That was the one I had the most difficult with, but I have kids that do plenty of promoting! And thank you for the very engaging conversation!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. I like being able to keep people at arms length and Facebook does that for me.

    That having been said, I think it’s more of a personality flaw. For instance, some of my cousins. I don’t want to hang out, but I don’t mind seeing their updates once in a while.

    But do I ever post updates?

    Maybe twice a year.

    If I post, I usually always go back and delete it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re funny… but that’s a whole other category we talked about though not that much. Because they were kinda giving me a hard time about completely deleting my stuff and not just signing off. I just told them that I would just be making it too easy for me to “oops” get back on.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I downloaded everything before I left, in case I ever want to get photos, etc. It’s a good part about FB. And I guess technically, I could always reactivate my account. That is always an option.

          Liked by 1 person

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